Body versus Brain

The past six months have been an interesting six months to say the least. For one, I am six months post bikini competitor life and have jumped headfirst into training for my first figure competitions in Spring 2017. Second, I have developed an unhealthy healthy relationship with my food and diet. Let me explain...

Today I attended a seminar on eating disorders and had so many moments of "holy hell, that's me" and "damnit, it shouldn't be this difficult." I would not classify myself as someone who has an eating disorder. However, I am beginning to realize that I have an addiction, an unhealthy relationship with myself and with food. To me, this is terrifying. This is never something I anticipated would continue to go on for six months after my competitions.

Let me break down my daily self-discussions with you (because I'm not the only one struggling, and I have had this conversation with multiple people over the last few days)
- Wake Up - Oh I feel so good
- Breakfast - Mmmm my favorite meal - let's get the day started right! Oh a latte sounds nice, but wait it has flavoring and extra calories with the soy milk and sugar, and you don't need it so just get black like always because all that extra is bad.
- Afternoon - A glass of wine or something sweet would be amazing tonight.. but it's not on the meal plan, it's not allowed, it will ruin your gains, you'll feel like crap, it's not worth it. But it would be sooo good.
- Workout - maybe I want to, maybe I don't - you'll feel better if you do, you can have that glass of wine if you do, but that glass of wine will make your workout pointless, so don't have it. Go to the gym Ryanne.
- Post-Workout - because I wouldn't skip a workout (insert eye roll) if I did skip my lift it would lead another debate about how I should be at the gym instead of at home, out with friends, or resting.
- Dinner - hmm same old chicken, sweet potatoes, and spinach. Yes, I DO LOVE THIS MEAL! But I'd rather be cooking something more fun, yet healthy and enjoying it with people I enjoy being around. I'd rather be out with a friend on a random night enjoying an adult beverage. I'd rather not force myself to eat when I'm not hungry. If I do any of those things let the internal committee begin the battle again of how I should just eat my prepped food because I won't feel like crap, I won't ruin my gains, it's what's on the plan, and I can see my friends another time.
- Next day - if I did cheat or slip up, all the comments come on hardcore - you're fat, i feel disgusting, so bloated, new pimple, red face, uncomfortable, never going to see my abs again, don't let it happen again...

Do you see a theme? Everything I do is a battle. Every time I want something off plan, meal or workout plan, my brain freaks the fuck out and the committee brings on a huge guilt trip. I'd be lying if I said that competing was worth it. Competing was an amazing experience in my life, and I am beyond thankful for what it taught me and continues to teach me. I have become increasingly self-confident as my weight has crept back up since my shows, yes a lot more of it is muscle, but even at my heaviest weight (pre-competing) I do not recall being this self-conscious.

In the seminar that I attended today I learned that my relationship with food, and my lifestyle, can be healthy. Finding balance is key, but also hard, especially when your metabolism is in this state of imbalance. The brain is also imbalanced. I know this firsthand. I know this because rationally I know that I am not fat, I know that I am not disgusting. I know that. However, the brain is an asshole and attacks at any moment of weakness. I learned that "Everything that your outside looks like is not what your insides feel like. You're telling yourself that you're much larger than you really are." Calling myself fat and bloated is re-enforcing my negative self-image. My self-talk goes from damn I feel and look good, to I'm fat and feel/look like shit. Not healthy right?

So how can it be changed? First, surrounding myself with people who have supported my journey and those that have been on the same journey as me. We all struggle with the same issues. Binge, feeling guilty, back on plan, fall off, binge, feel guilty, hop back on, swear to never fall off again, but than that jar or peanut butter and bottle of wine catches your eye at ladies night and you're off again.... I mean, I'm a 30 year old adult - if I want a glass of wine, I should be able to have one without having an 8 hour internal debate with myself over it. Right? 

My hope, for myself and others, is to turn the self-talk from negative thoughts to positive thoughts - I am strong. I am healthy. My weight does not define me. I can have a glass of wine. Moderation is key. Balance is important. I will find balance. I will be happy. I am confident.....

Remember - our thoughts are powerful. They have the ability to change the mood very quickly for worse or for better. What do you want your thoughts to be?

~ Ryanne 

Hemp Hearts - goodies and giveaway

Hey Friendsssss! Let's talk about an amazing heart and body healthy food that the entire family will love!

Manitoba Harvest  Hemp Hearts are raw shelled hemp seeds that are:

• Great tasting - Hemp Hearts have a slightly nutty taste, similar to a sunflower seed or pine nut.
• Easy to use - Simply sprinkle Hemp Hearts on salad, cereal & yogurt, add to smoothies and recipes, or eat them straight from the package!
• Nutritious - per 30 gram serving, Hemp Hearts contain 10 grams of plant-based protein and 10 grams of Omegas.
• Hemp Hearts have more protein and omegas and less carbs than the same serving of chia or flax.

WHO DOESN'T LOVE THAT!

How do I eat Hemp Hearts? Let me tell you! I eat them in my oats everyday! Basically - you can make your oats however you prefer and then sprinkle the hemp hearts on top! Personally I love oatmeal, and could eat it all day everyday without tiring of it thankfully! As you can see, I added chopped walnuts, sunflower seeds, apple, banana, almond butter, and hemp hearts to my bowl of oats on this day! 

Hemp Hearts are also great sprinkled in salads, on eggs, or mixed in with yogurt! Get creative. You can find tons of recipes on the Manitoba Harvest Recipe Page 

Now for the fun part! Enter for your chance to win your own Hemp Seeds below! Must follow participation rules and guidelines to win! 

• Follow @ManitobaHarvest on Twitter
• Follow @ManitobaHarvest on Instagram
• Tweet about the giveaway using @ManitobaHarvest #hemphearts @FitApproach #sweatpink

Giveaway restrictions: 

• Open to US and Canada residents
• One prize per winner. If your first winner has already won a prize from another SPA, please choose another. Sample disclosure language below, if you’d like to include it in your post
• You are not eligible to win other SPAs’ giveaways

One prize per person. If you win this giveaway, and have already won another prize from Manitoba Harvest through another blog, please disclose that you have already won so we can choose another winner. 

Enjoy! Winner will be announced by November 20th! 

~Ryanne

HempHearts Giveaway

Post-Competition Words

Hey friends - let's talk about post competition life - or OFF-SEASON!!!!

I competed a little over a week ago now and nicely put, this past week was rough. I never imagined that my body would change so drastically from week to week during competition prep, and then even more drastically post competition. I thought I was prepared, but I was not entirely prepared.

First, peak week is all about hydration and dehydration, and adjusting things daily, and carb loading, and not spilling over, and wine or no wine, how much potassium to take and when, did you pee enough today, did you poop yet, do you feel tighter than yesterday, do you feel tighter than this morning? And that's just the basics! 

I spent a lot of time preparing myself for what post comp life was going to be like. I also spent a lot of time mentally preparing and reminding myself that the way I look on show day is not maintainable and that it is for ONE DAY. I told myself for months leading up to the competitions that this is one day only. You will look beyond amazing and better than a majority of the population for one day, maybe two depending on how my body responded. 

Fast forward to after the show. My abs survived the immediate Saturday night binge of a greasy ass appetizer, burger, fries, pumpkin bars, chocolate pie, almond butter, apples, bananas, pumpkin spice cookie butter, a half a beer, wine, and two packages of pop tarts. I woke up Sunday morning feeling like the freaking Hulk. Sunday was all about brunch, flavored coffee (which after having black coffee for 6 months isn't as amazing as I thought it was going to be), a delicious saki bloody mary, the rest of the chocolate pie, chicken wings, more pop tarts, more almond butter, peanut butter, cookie butter, and pizza fries. I basically ate for an entire 24 hours...and I ain't even mad about it.

Monday came around, and I was ready to get back on track. I had a sugar headache and just wasn't feeling super amazing like I was used to feeling. I prepped my meals and went on with the day. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday came. I did well. Prepping my meals and just having one sweet snack during the day. I went back to the gym and was having some amazing pumps. So amazing that I was the most sore I have ever been after my lifts.

Then came Friday. I thought I could fight the urge. I tried to..but not hard enough. I went to cherry berry. WORST IDEA EVER. First off, I have a dairy intolerance..which I am aware of in the past have just prepared to suffer with the consequences. After being completely dairy free for 6 months, my body hated me. I woke up Saturday morning and thought I was dying. The pain was so intolerable I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go to work or not. Needless to say, my morning was a shit show. Saturday at work I binged... on all the cookies and goodness that I haven't been able to experience in months. For no reason, no reason at all. Purely because the sugar demons attacked and I was weak and making excuses. I had so much sugar in my body that my heart started to race and I was having hot flashes.

This morning, Sunday, I woke up feeling hungover, like I had consumed an entire case of wine. It was awful. My head hurt, my body ached, my stomach was yelling at me. I vowed to myself to start my reverse diet and to stick to it. The sugar cravings will subside again, my body will come back to its happy place, and I will feel healthier. Also, all the sugar has caused my skin to flare up and break out. NOT COOL. that is reason enough to stop the sugar.

Basically here's what I have learned one week post competition: 

1. Sugar is a drug. A wicked wicked drug. 
2. You're mind will tell you it's okay when deep down you know it's not. 
3. I eat even if I don't want to - just because it's there. 
4. Restricting food for a long time does damage on the relationship that you have with food, whether you think it will or not, it does. 
5. It takes a long time to feel hydrated after being super depleted. 
6. Food will be there tomorrow, or next week, or the next year. I don't have to eat everything right now. 
7. I am not depriving myself. This is my lifestyle.
8. My body doesn't like bad food - Food is meant to fuel my body not hurt it! 
9. I do not want to throw away the last 6 months of work that I have put in over stupid cookies. 
10. Keeping my goals in mind and visible is important. 
11. Having and USING my support system is an important part of this lifestyle and being successful! 
12. My coach knows everything - pictures and performance don't lie. He knows. Good coaches know. 

I am looking forward to a very long and successful off-season. This time will help me to grow as a person and grow my body to bring an even better package to stage in Spring 2017.

~~Ryanne

Lessons Learned...in Love

What can I say... so many words and no clue where to start. I have learned entirely too much about myself and others during these past 6 months.

Love, as defined, is an intense feeling of deep affection.  

I have learned so many things about myself, others, and what I am looking for in relationships. Not just romantic relationships, but friendships as well.

This journey, and transformation, has taught me that settling for anything isn't an option. This journey has also taught me that I don't have to settle. I can fight for what I want. I can wait for what I want. I do not have to keep the negative and stale energy in my life. I can and will bring positive energy and light into my life in all areas and through all things.

By keeping those negative influences in my life, I am only dragging myself down. By releasing the things and people in my life, I can generate more energy and make room for personal growth in relationships that I want to nurture.

Shall we have a look at what I have learned?

1. You do not need food and alcohol to have a good time. The company you keep make the experience...the amazing hamburger and cold beer only last for so long.

2. Walking outside with an old friend will lead to serious learnings.

2.5. Walking outside with a new friend will give you insight into things you may not otherwise have been given.

3. Being outside alone is incredibly soothing for the mind, body, and soul.

4. The gym and weight rack are my saving grace. Find yours - you will be amazed at what happens in your life!

5. It is okay if the person you once thought you were going to spend your life with, isn't that person anymore. This was the hardest part for me, but being unhappy was even harder. And trust me on this - I did thank myself in the long run and am happier. Even if you are single - it's pretty cool to be single!

6. Friendships will change. For better and worse. Basically it works like this - they either support the life change or the don't. If they do, they want to know about it and ask about it and ask about you and still include you in their life. If they don't, they won't ask...they won't care.

7. Nourish the friendships that support you. Nourish new friendships that support you and come to you during this time. They are the ones that will teach you something and most likely last.

8. Get to used to your lifestyle. Get used to the fact that you spend a stupid amount of time in the gym and an even stupider (yeah I used stupider, get over it) amount of time in your active wear.... If you need a little laugh watch this video!

9. Put down your phone. When you are with the people you love just put it down. When you are with new people just put it down. Be present with the people you are surrounded by.

10. Learn everything you can from everything that you can. Use each new opportunity as a learning experience. Learn to trust your instincts and your emotions. Learn to trust yourself. damnit..JUST LEARN!!!

11. Lastly, love yourself. Love who you have become on the inside. Understand that none of this would be possible without your determination and dedication. You will be tested - how you react to the tests will be the most difficult and rewarding part of the experience. Be proud of the journey that you are one, the transformation that you have made, the new lifestyle that you have developed.

Take each day as it comes...moment to moment. Live in the moment. Appreciate the ups and downs, the highs and lows. Be thankful for the people you do have. Be even more thankful for the life that you have. Be thankful that you have the choice to make a change, no matter what area of life needs changing you can make the decision to change it.

~~Ryanne 

Competition Thoughts

Happy Friday Friends!

As of tomorrow I am 17 weeks out from my very first and 18 weeks out from my second Bikini Competition. Emotional is an understatement. I have no idea what to feel, how to feel, when to feel, where to feel... 17 weeks left. It feels like yesterday that I just started on this journey to find the best me (it's been 9 weeks) and I can say that so far I have learned to so much about myself and my body.

Mentally, I am becoming stronger. Able to resist the temptations and push myself harder than I thought I would be able to in the Gym. I have found that my ability to give up alcohol has been one of the easier things. Even though I love craft beer and exploring breweries is something my boyfriend and I enjoy doing together, this journey is more important right now. I'm thankful that he understands that and we both know this is temporary. I'm not saying I look forward to getting all white-girl after my competitions, but I definitely look forward to the day I can enjoy a beer with my burger and a glass of wine in the bathtub! Ya feel me?!

Physically, I can see so many changes in my body. Muscles growing, fat slowly shrinking. My back and shoulders showing definition. My quads are starting to form and pop. My hamstring muscles are replacing the fat dimples on the back of my legs. My biceps are growing big like Arnold. And my obliques and hips are starting to come out of hibernation under layers and layers of fat. My face in noticeably slimmer, less irritated, less red and blotchy, and less acne and random breakouts.

Emotionally, I'm starting to become more self-aware. What food makes me feel. How food makes my body feel. How good workouts wear me out in the best possible way and make me tired, and how a bad workout can send me into a negative state of mind for a while and make me want to quit for the day. My emotional state is up and down - primarily up and positive and happy. However, during the first few days of my meal and workout plan change it's rough. My body adapts for 4 weeks and just when the groove is there it switches. This last change provided me with an insight into food jealousy and anger towards other people eating foods that I don't even really care for or wouldn't eat normally. BUT because I can't have them and they can I was mad and jealous. These thoughts and feelings passed, thankfully.

Look for a future posting about food. Oh food, how I love thee!

This process is not even half way over at this point and I am so excited to continue on. The journey is completely amazing, inspiring, life-changing, and a roller coaster ride like no other. This journey is what you make it. My goal through this is remain positive throughout the process and especially after the shows! More on post-show goals later though. Right now, we focus on today. We focus on goals for today, plans for today, meals and workouts for today. We focus on the now. The now that you create.

Be Happy. Be Healthy. Be Humble.

~Ryanne

Snack Time

Snack time for me is a way for me to get creative. I'm limited in my options so seasoning is critical. Adding cucumber today for some crunch! I love the kernel season's seasoning for everything from meats to veggies to rice. 

Enjoy *Ryanne 

Cookie

Monday I ate a cookie. An oatmeal raisin cookie. Said cookie was so soft, chewy, delicious and had just the perfect amount of cinnamon. The cookie was delightful. I then immediately texted my prep coach and confessed my lethal sin. 

A week earlier my meal plan changed. Less carbs. More protein and a little more fat. My stomach has not enjoyed the large amount of egg whites, addition of tuna, or the added almonds and almond butter and plain rice cakes. My calorie is went down but the amount of meals increased. My poor stomach. 

Today, as with the last few days I feel bloated. 

Literally like a busted can of biscuits. Ilso feel loose and jiggly. Which according to my coach is great because it means the cortisol and fat deposits are starting to break up. Which is fantastic. The body fat percentage needs to drop. However. The jiggly beached whale feeling is getting old. 

After my cookie fiasco I had a rough day of beating myself up over it. My coach responded with an "it happens but don't let it happen again" - kind of him right?! I let it go and moved on. 

My one mistake won't mess up all the progress I've made these past six weeks. It was a cookie. Accept it and move on. Mind over matter and remember that you're in this to win this and are only competing against yourself!    

   And remember: 

💪🏼👙 Ryanne 

Turn down for ALMONDS

Pretty jazzed about all the possibilities for almonds these days. Yes I love almonds. I love them raw or salted or seasoned. Here are two of my favorite recipes! 

Snack OR dessert?!

Recipe: 1 cup plain Greek yogurt,  1/2 tbsp honey,  1 scoop Herbalife formula 1 cookies & cream. #herbalife

 

So delicious and nutritious. Calms the sweet cravings and gives you an added boost of protein!

 

 

~ Namaste,

Ryanne 

Dedication

Happy Friday Y'all, 

Let me tell you about my recent best friends 

MY HERBALIFE SHAKES 

yes, i am all about my shakes these days. I'm on a mission to get fit and look good in a bikini for my 30TH BIRTHDAY. My main motivation is to feel 100% confident with myself and to live until I'm 100. Both would be wicked awesome. 

My Herbalife is my life saver. It's the perfect meal replacement and you can be incredibly creative with your shakes and what you add to them.

I use fruits, veggies, coffee, and I've even added ice cream (but only one time, ssshhh). Ice cream isn't a regular thing in my house as I have lactose issues so I have to really be prepared and having insane calcium cravings which are very very rare. 

The shakes in the picture below were all make with the FORMULA 1 HEALTHY MEAL  Vanilla Flavor. Technically this is 1 days worth - but for most people this would be 2 days worth. Because I work overnights I have a weird schedule and a hard time eating in the middle of the night so I drink a shake or two for my dinners and then have my bigger meals before and after work. 

These shakes have Kale, Greek Yogurt plain, Vanilla Almond Milk, tropical frozen fruit, Herbalife Formula 1 and Herbalife Fiber Complex (regularity is important). 

They keep well in the fridge over night, or for 2 nights - after that they kind of taste a bit funky. They also travel well in pint size mason jars. I don't have to worry about spilling or leakage in my lunch bag or purse and can just grab them out of the fridge and go. NO EXCUSE!!! 

If you're interested in jump starting your fitness get in contact with me through email RYLOTRU@GMAIL.COM 

or at My Herbalife site 

or leave a comment on my blog!! 

~ Cheers to good health and happiness, 

Ryanne 

Cheat Day/S

Welcome to Duluth, MN

Welcome to my CHEAT WEEKEND!!!!! 

Isn't Duluth so pretty!? it's the cutest town north of the cities with antique shops, old history, and beautiful views. 

Now, my boyfriend and I have been killing in the gym for the past 6 weeks and decided that it was time to getaway. First because I started my last semester of college and second because we needed to get away from the chaos that is real life. 

Our cheats primarily consisted of Beer: Stop one was the Canal Park Brewing Company. you guys, they had the most glorious food. I had a beer soaked brat and boyfriend had bacon mac and cheese with kielbasa - holy cheat day was worth it. The beers were are dark and white IPA - and they were yummy in our tummies!

 Next stop was the Blue Paddle Taphouse - thank you for a flight and 2 beers. They have an amazing cold press coffee dark beer - which you can see above. We got a growler - it was like a cup of heaven and i'd drink it for breakfast if i could. 

 We strolled around Duluth, did a little shopping and took some pictures. As you can see the lift bridge isn't in high use - thanks to the artic tundra that is northern Minnesota!  Last stop was Old Chicago - where you can't go wrong. Thank you for good beer, a couple of shots, and good food - pepperoni rolls are my jam! 

Now after almost 2 days of being away it's back on the grind Monday morning for LEG DAYYYYYY 

~ Namaste 

Ryanne 

Homemade Crockpot Kitchen Sink Soup

!!!!!!!!!!!SOUP!!!!!!!!!!

My favorite thing to whip up in the colder months

  Starting at the beginning - I do not follow a recipe when I'm making soup. I simply toss whatever I have on had or food that I am in the mood for into the pot.

This soup took a healthy twist and it was so delightful. Cozy, yet refreshing.

Ingredients:

Kale, Spinach, Carrots, Sweet Potatoes, Onion, Garlic, Zucchini, Gluten-Free Noodles (you do not need noodles), and Chicken Stock

**disclaimer: just put in however much you want of each ingredient. Don't get fussy about it**

Steps:

Sautee garlic and onion in sauce pan to bring out the flavors - then add to bottom of the crockpot.

Chop - chop your vegetables to similar sizes to ensure even cooking. (Carrots, Sweet Potatoes & Zucchini)

Add chicken stock - however much you need to get a consistency that you enjoy.



Add Kale and Spinach (no need to cut, it wilts down nicely while it cooks)

Give then entire pot a few really good stirs.

Set it on low for a few hours until it's heated all the way through.



ADD NOODLES (because I used G-Free noodles I did this last so that they wouldn't get soggy)





Lastly, EAT - eat so much you're stomach hurts. Then eat more tomorrow, and the next tomorrow, and the next tomorrow!

Bowls Up ~ R

Kombucha

  My kombucha.

 

 

It turned out so well and was so easy to bring together! I am on my second round now and plan to split my SCOBY into the other jar so that I can experiment a little more!  

 

If you want more information totally just Google search scoby OR Kombucha and you'll get a ton of great resources and information.

 

PINTEREST is also a great place to find recipes and tips on how to make your on Kombucha.

 

I received my scoby from a friend, who is an avid Kombucha creator. You can purchase starter sets or start your own with just a few ingredients. It's best to get one from another batch to ensure it's quality.

 

Enjoy ~~

R

Redmond Clay

Google "clay" ... what comes up? a whole bunch of random nonsense. Google "Shailene Woodley Clay" and what do you get? (click below and see) 

Google Search

A lot of information regarding this new thing on drinking clay. I fell victim to the hype and had to try it as I'm always on the hunt for ways to be more healthy and clean from the inside out. Doing my own research, I have found that Bentonite Clay has many benefits and uses. Who doesn't love a product that can suck toxins out on the outside AND ON THE INSIDE!? 

Common internal use is done by either making your own capsules (too much work) OR mixing it with water (much easier and faster). I have been drinking it every morning for almost 2 weeks. The clay doesn't taste like much more than you would imagine clay to taste, pretty earthy, and the as long as you mix it well the chunks are either gone or hardly noticeable. I'm not sure if my toxins are moving out, but I have noticed that it fills me up in the morning, which is a bonus, because clay expands when wet. 

You can find a ton more information on Redmond Trading's website Here and there is a super cool infographic for a ton of uses, both internal and external right here. At least check it out, even if it seems weird, it's still worth a looksi! 

~Be Well, R

Post Workout Snack Time

Who doesn't love apples? Who doesn't love peanut butter?  Together they make my day every day.

A go-to snack for me that's quick is PB&APPLES. I've spiced it up the last couple of days with this awesome recipe:

Sliced Apple
Peanut Butter
Chopped Nuts sprinkled on top

I've also added craisins and sunflower seeds on other days! 

🍎🍎🍎 Enjoy 🍎🍎🍎

This life is real

Let's start at the beginning of the day! 

First I start my day with the Fat Flush (which is in an earlier blog post). I have found that it's a great way to start my mornings. Fiber, protein and energy all in one yummy beverage. 

Then it's onto the shakes. This shake was a mash-up of everything left over in the fridge! Running low, or being completely out of things requires getting creative and hoping that the shake doesn't end up tasting beyond horrible. 

This shake is:
Herbalife Formula 1 Vanilla

Herbalife Raspberry Tea

4 frozen strawberries

4 pieces of pineapple

handful of spinach 

and 1 Tbsp of PB2 

It wasn't my best concoction, but it was drinkable and tolerable. 

The PB2 adds the peanut butter flavor, makes it thicker, but does it without adding all the additional calories. It makes a delightful peanut butter/banana protein shake! 

After my workout (about 45 minutes) I was ready for breakfast. It takes a while for me to calm down enough to feel ready to eat anything. Although my plan calls for full elimination or limited wheat, I had to have something with more substance today! 2 eggs, 1/2 English muffin with natural peanut butter, 1 cup cantaloupe, 1 row of soy mozzarella cheese. It was filling and full of healthy options! 

My workout was the total body circuit from T25, plus 20 minutes of hills. This is the hill that I run (or walk) up and down. The picture doesn't do it justice. In the winter it's used as a sledding hill so it's pretty steep! It's great for working the legs, butt, and cardio!!!! I didn't get much in today on the hill because it started to rain.

Sunday Night Dinner - Oh wow was it delicious! 

Pork Tenderloin, Homemade Potato Salad, and Salad

I only had a few bites of the potato salad, an enormous salad and 3 slices of the Pork. All of it was prepared fresh, nothing from a package! 

If this doesn't make you feel good about yourself you better find some food that does! 

Be Well ~ R