Lessons Learned...in Love

What can I say... so many words and no clue where to start. I have learned entirely too much about myself and others during these past 6 months.

Love, as defined, is an intense feeling of deep affection.  

I have learned so many things about myself, others, and what I am looking for in relationships. Not just romantic relationships, but friendships as well.

This journey, and transformation, has taught me that settling for anything isn't an option. This journey has also taught me that I don't have to settle. I can fight for what I want. I can wait for what I want. I do not have to keep the negative and stale energy in my life. I can and will bring positive energy and light into my life in all areas and through all things.

By keeping those negative influences in my life, I am only dragging myself down. By releasing the things and people in my life, I can generate more energy and make room for personal growth in relationships that I want to nurture.

Shall we have a look at what I have learned?

1. You do not need food and alcohol to have a good time. The company you keep make the experience...the amazing hamburger and cold beer only last for so long.

2. Walking outside with an old friend will lead to serious learnings.

2.5. Walking outside with a new friend will give you insight into things you may not otherwise have been given.

3. Being outside alone is incredibly soothing for the mind, body, and soul.

4. The gym and weight rack are my saving grace. Find yours - you will be amazed at what happens in your life!

5. It is okay if the person you once thought you were going to spend your life with, isn't that person anymore. This was the hardest part for me, but being unhappy was even harder. And trust me on this - I did thank myself in the long run and am happier. Even if you are single - it's pretty cool to be single!

6. Friendships will change. For better and worse. Basically it works like this - they either support the life change or the don't. If they do, they want to know about it and ask about it and ask about you and still include you in their life. If they don't, they won't ask...they won't care.

7. Nourish the friendships that support you. Nourish new friendships that support you and come to you during this time. They are the ones that will teach you something and most likely last.

8. Get to used to your lifestyle. Get used to the fact that you spend a stupid amount of time in the gym and an even stupider (yeah I used stupider, get over it) amount of time in your active wear.... If you need a little laugh watch this video!

9. Put down your phone. When you are with the people you love just put it down. When you are with new people just put it down. Be present with the people you are surrounded by.

10. Learn everything you can from everything that you can. Use each new opportunity as a learning experience. Learn to trust your instincts and your emotions. Learn to trust yourself. damnit..JUST LEARN!!!

11. Lastly, love yourself. Love who you have become on the inside. Understand that none of this would be possible without your determination and dedication. You will be tested - how you react to the tests will be the most difficult and rewarding part of the experience. Be proud of the journey that you are one, the transformation that you have made, the new lifestyle that you have developed.

Take each day as it comes...moment to moment. Live in the moment. Appreciate the ups and downs, the highs and lows. Be thankful for the people you do have. Be even more thankful for the life that you have. Be thankful that you have the choice to make a change, no matter what area of life needs changing you can make the decision to change it.

~~Ryanne 

Spirit Junkie Chapter Six

Chapter six....Relationships are assignments. I repeat RELATIONSHIPS ARE ASSIGNMENTS.

This chapter is about how we view and treat relationships, how we become co-dependent, how we change the person that we are to be the person that we think we should be. So tragic...that the ego actually makes us believe that we aren't cool enough or that we aren't enough without that special someone.

Props can go to the ego for making us fall into these traps. Guilt being a main trap that the ego sucks us into quite often. "Guilt is the feeling we experience as a response to the belief that we've sinned against love - it's a projection of the sadness we have for neglecting love." SAY WHAT!!!! Sinning against love - that's a thought.

"Unconsciously we believe we deserve punishment because we turned our back on love." 

Pretty deep AND pretty true. We are able to relieve our guilt by attacking others.

****The entire point of this chapter is to have the willingness to see relationships as assignments. I, you, we, have to agree to show up for whatever comes our way. Be willing to grow, be open to new experiences, BE OPEN TO THE UNIVERSE BRINGING IN SOMEONE THAT YOU NEVER EXPECTED.

Siding with the ~ing is the best part. Asking for help and being open to help. 

The assignment for this chapter was a meditation followed by a free-writing experiment on "How have I projected my fear onto others?" - In short, I use feelings of unworthiness and unhappiness as a reason for fighting and I use defense mechanisms to block and shut out the people in my life in order to protect myself. I talk negatively to myself and about myself to others.

The next, and most important step, is to SHOW UP. Recognize the assignment and show up for it. By seeing love in the face of another person you know the true meaning of oneness. 

Lastly, "when you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself. 

~Ryanne

Spirit Junkie Chapter Five

In hopes to clear my mind before bed, I am going to enlighten you a little bit on Chapter Five - which is called "The F Word." 

I learned a lot in this chapter. Primarily about how to forgive and how important forgiveness is. Almost everything I have done this past week has included some type of message on forgiveness.... odd right? No, it's a sign. I need to forgive people in my life, forgive situations that have happened, and know that these aren't acts of betrayal or hurt, but acts that are meant to make me stronger as an individual. 

Spirit Junkie says that "by defending myself I was making things worse." By defending my actions and my wrongdoings, I was making things worse. We must chose to remain defenseless in order to remain in the present moment. Don't dwell on the past, don't bring up the past in an argument, just stay present. Yes it's hard...so hard..but you CAN do it. I promise. 

By forgiving other people we aren't just letting them off the hook, we are doing something far more important. We are releasing ourselves of the negativity, the hurt, the pain, the struggle, and most importantly THE EGO. The ego convinces us that we are separate from the situation, that we are the victim... we aren't. 

Often times the act of forgiveness allows us to realize that we aren't mad at the other person, we are mad at ourselves. This was a huge realization for me. I am mad at myself for a number of reasons. Primarily, for not being able to keep my relationship together (But that's an entirely different post). 

By practicing the F word we learn that "When we connect to light within others, you can see them as equal and release your resentments." The ego's walls of separation are torn down and we can unite as one. 

Breakin' Down the F Word: 

Step 1. Recognize the illusion: Remember, in each situation we have 2 CHOICES: ONE IS TO SEE THE DARKENESS, THE OTHER IS TO SEE THE LIGHT. By choosing to see the darkness, we strengthen our own inner darkness, and when we see the light we shine from the inside out. 

Question: How have I chosen to see darkness in this situation? 

     A: Placing blame, being defensive, arguments, not taking ownership, silence, harboring old negative feelings. 

Step 2. Release Judgement: Take time to release judgments. This one is HUGE for me. HUGE HUGE HUGE. In my journey over the past 5 months, I have become increasingly quiet due to my lack of feelings to be judgmental towards others. 

Question: How have I been judging? 

     A: Lifestyle choices such as diet and exercise, significant others/partners, Careers, Goals, Motivation and lack of motivation. 

Step 3: Be willing to forgive: 'Do you prefer to be right or happy? The willingness to release the need to be right is a major step toward forgiveness." 

Step 4: Ask you ~ing for help: Ask for help and be patient. Trust the process and stay willing to the process. Like everything it takes time. Let your inner spirit guide you to forgiveness, don't force it and DO NOT GIVE UP ON IT! 

Lastly, don't be afraid to have feelings and emotions and to be a real human being. We are designed to feel, some more than others, but that doesn't lessen the fact that moving forward in life and in any spiritual journey is hard. You can cry, laugh, punch the pillow, karate chop and block, or whatever it is you need to do to work through your individual issues. For me, I am highly sensitive...like beyond sensitive, but I act like a hard ass because I have to. I cry ( a lot, no exaggeration) and I get mad but I direct my feelings toward something. Towards things like becoming the best me I can be, inside and outside. So don't say that you can't or that you won't make it. You will. You have to. If you don't, you will be miserable and forever the victim on a vicious cycle of unhappiness. No one wants that for themselves or for others. Get out there and do you - find your happiness and find your journey. 

~Ryanne 

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Competition Thoughts Part 2

Hey Friends... it's Friday. And a glorious Friday at that! Now, I'm not going to beat around the bush here.. I'm exhausted. On all levels. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and especially physically. I'm trying to pick myself up throughout the day and not let the exhaustion tear me down into a negative pit of energy zapping grossness, but it's a struggle. Thankfully some smart smart person invented coffee. 

About two weeks ago my meal plan changed on my prep. Along with a new workout plan, but more in that after this. The meal plan changed up my carbs, added a lot more protein, and took away some fats. For almost a little over a week now, I have been powering through some serious digestive issues, and all things aside, it hasn't been fun at all. The negative impact of a constant upset stomach and bloating is starting to take its toll. My sleep has been disrupted and it's also starting to impact my workouts and my stamina during my workouts. I'm hopeful that my body is just adjusting to the changes in the plan, and it isn't something more serious. (Don't worry, I will seek medical attention when I see fit, I'm not trying to tear my stomach apart with this)

My workouts - holy hell.... fasted cardio for 55 minutes. Enough said on that one. Someone bring me a coffee IV to hook up every day please. Lifts - increase in sets and reps. I'm rocking this new workout plan, finding what works and what doesn't. Even with my current tummy troubles I know I need to focus on the outcome and my goals! If I have to rest a little longer in between sets so be it. 

Some exciting news - I picked out my suit fabric and accessories. Oh, it is sooooo pretty and completely not what I had in mind as something that I would have chosen. Always surprising myself I suppose. I'm also keeping it a secret so the big reveal will be made on show day! 

Enjoy your Friday people of the universe. Stay Positive and get some coffee for you and me! 

~~ Ryanne

Attitude

Do it, Feel it, Breathe it, Be it, Love it 

Do all things with a great attitude and you will have a great life! 

~Ryanne