Spirit Junkie Chapter Two

DISCLAIMER: I've decided to make my experience through Spirit Junkie a public journey because I want to inspire and motivate others to find their happiness. In all reality I have been struggling for many years to find what happiness is and exactly what my happiness is. I hope that this experience not only helps me to surrender to my fears, but guides me to my ultimate happiness. And in return I hope that others can find their happiness as well. 

Chapter two of Spirit Junkie asks us to examine our ego. To take a look at how the ego keeps us stuck in the illusion of fear. A guided meditation is provided followed by a free-writing experiment which I found to be very eye opening and helpful. The meditation was used to prepare our mind to allow free flowing thoughts. On an inhale we bring in the good and positives and on the exhale we release the negatives and the unknowns. 

Following the meditation there is a series of 4 questions:

1. What are you afraid of? 

- I afraid of being alone, not being worthy, not finding love, not finding happiness, not being enough, hurting others, and losing people. 

2. How do I attack myself?

- I attack myself with various types of doubt, pain, guilt, negative talk, being too busy, over working, lack of sleep, and holding onto the past. 

3. How do I attack others? 

- I attack othere primarily by judging, but also with hatred, silence, anger, frustration, guilt, and not making time. 

4. How do I bring my past fears into the present and future? 

- I bring my past fears into the present and futur pe by judging and comparing people and situations to past situations and people, negativity, being closed-minded, doubting myself and lack of time. 

Becoming aware of the ego and how it works is challenging. I have already begun to notice it creeping up on me when I'm most vulnerable. Judging someone because of their looks or appearance, not making time for me because I don't have time, or hatred towards recent life situations. The goal of this experiment is to "release the blocks to the awareness of love's presence on the inside, rather than finding love on the outside."

Honesty is a a scary thing, being vulnerable is even more scary. Ultimately to find happiness being scared and vulnerable have to happen. Finding yourself will be totally worth the struggle! 

Namaste *Ryanne