Thigh Gap

So... I have a thigh gap. I've never had a thigh gap - well at least not in the last 5-7 years. I probably did in junior high. Possibly in high school, but likely only for freshman year. During this prep I have seen some incredible changes in my body. Muscle definition being one. Clothes fit better, and I feel better - more confident, more sexy, more happy with my physical appearance.

However, this thigh gap (which undoubtedly will get wider as the next 11 weeks progress) has left me with mixed emotions. When the thigh gap hit its peak, I did not have a thigh gap. I found it entirely impossible to get a thigh gap. Actually, I didn't even want to strive for a thigh gap. The hype around it was so ridiculous - people salivating over this space between the legs like it was something holy, others hating on it with body shaming, eating disorder comments, and just all around negativity and nastiness.

My feelings are this: I have a thigh gap. I own that now. My shorts don't ride up with I walk, my thighs don't rub together in my swim suit... they don't touch unless I make them. Not going to lie - it's nice. However, my thigh gap has come with a lot of sweat, tears, soreness, good days, bad days, all around shitty days, lots of protein, lack of sleep, lack of sugar and fat and low calorie intake during my cutting phase of prep. My thigh gap was earned. I earned this. I worked my ass off for this. This change in my body makes me proud. This gap also makes me a bit wavered in my womanhood, as thighs are a sign of a healthy woman who can bear children.

This gap does not define me, it is not who I am. I have a thigh gap - so effing what. I also have biceps and boobs, an education, and a brain that is always seeking to learn something new and to become better. That is who I am, not some silly thigh-gap.

- Ryanne